Rachel Harrison, CPCC - If I could coach my mother
As far as I know, my mother had limited mental health issues. There’s a reference to her not wanting to get out of bed when she first moved to Canada (this was before I was born). However, that is really the only mention of it. I grew up in a “normal” happy household. So, when my father spoke to me while I was at University, to highlight that “Mum was sick” and suffering from manic-depression possibly brought on by the onset of menopause, I was dismissive. I was 21, and due to my immaturity and geographic distance, I just didn’t understand the seriousness of what my father tried to relate to me about her condition. My mother shifted into a deep depression. They were on suicide watch. When she saw the doctor and they prescribed medication, she told everyone that she was feeling better and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. A week later, my mother killed herself.
I now imagine how some of the beliefs that were prevalent in our family, may have impacted how my mother approached the disease. The first is that outside the family, one doesn’t ask for help. Having grown up in the North of England, Preston, in a working-class family, it was very important to make sure that “You don’t let them see they are getting the best of you.” Well, I guess them was the upper classes or authority, but it was deeply engrained idea that you do “things with apparent ease”. So, being vulnerable to others, even people close to you wasn’t an option. It is important to show grace and poise. However, these deep seeded beliefs relating to asking for help and showing vulnerability may have stopped her from reaching out earlier. Other areas that could affect one’s approach to their own depression could be their approach to individuals with mental health problems, perception of drugs, doctors, illness, or an individual’s willingness to divulge information or willingness to be gentle with one’s self.
I’m now a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach and I wish I had the opportunity to go back to the time. I understand that depression and mental health is an illness, but in the same way that one “deals” with cancer, there are saboteurs and values that impact how you approach illness. Co-Active Coaching is about listening and creating the space for the person to explore their thoughts and values, as well as, experience their emotions. It also provides the space to find resources for the fight, create new perspectives and highlight choice.
Co-active coaching works on the principle that everyone is naturally creative, resourceful and whole. That isn’t to say, that if you have a medical condition you can fix yourself without medicine, drugs and therapy. What it does mean, is that every individual has it within themselves to come up with their own strategies that work for them as an individual. Since each person is unique, two people with the same problem or goal, can come up with two very different strategies to achieve that goal such as, “How do I reach out for help?”
And that’s why coaching and mental health can go hand in hand.
"Rachel's coaching really helped me stay on top of my mental health when I began my new role at Twining Enterprise and I can see how her flexible and adaptable approach reflects that of Twining's with it's clients"
Jo Phaure, Communications Manager Twining Enterprise
You can find out more about Rachel and Blue Dragon here. Co-active coaching can be a fantastic way to discuss your fears and challenges around work and ensure you manage your wellbeing. Rachel can provide support over the phone to those needing it.
